Relax. We did the hard work for you.

.disclaimer. I haven’t been on OKC (or any dating site) in over 6 years, so things might be a tad different now but I think the ideas remain the same. I’m guessing you’ve got a good profile already. Can't send intros? I haven't used OkCupid in a couple of weeks so I don't know if this was an intentional update I've missed or not, but I just logged on and I can't seem to send intros? I go to my list of people I've like and there is only the option to unlike them or super like them. The option to send an intro or to comment on something in.

The giddy sensation you feel when you match with someone cute on any dating app can quickly die down if they hit you with a straightforward, personality-less 'hey' as an opening line. Sure, 'hey' does the job of opening up the conversation, but it's not particularly interesting and doesn't really make someone want to reply. Finding fun, clever, witty, or even silly opening lines for OkCupid, Hinge, Bumble, or your preferred dating app of choice can seem a little tricky if you're lacking inspiration. (Um, yes, hi, me.) But don’t stress. In 2009, the OkCupid team conducted an experiment where they analyzed 500,000 first messages on their site, and found several factors that play a part in whether or not you get a reply from an OkCupid intro — and whether or not that could lead to a first date.

The experiment looked at keywords and phrases, how they impacted replies, and what conversation starters really made a difference. Based on what the experiment found, OkCupid co-founder Christian Rudder created a few suggestions (and blogged about them on the dating app) to consider applying to your own OkCupid intro. First, he suggested users spell out full words, and not use abbreviations. Second, he suggested trying to avoid physical compliments. Instead of 'hey' or 'hi,' saying something like 'How's it going?' — a question that requires an answer — has a higher chance of response. Rudder also suggested bringing up specific interests based on something you saw on your match's OkCupid profile.

Even earlier research from 2015 — published in an OkCupid data report from 2016 — supports starting a conversation with something other than “Hey.” Data scientists from OkCupid found sending 'Hey' had an 84% chance of being ignored. After scanning more than 1 million conversations, the report also found data scientists that, across all sexual identities, 40-90 characters was the ideal length for a successful first message. That said, not adhering strictly to the 40-90 characters “rule” didn't offer much of a difference between 'good' and “bad” conversation starters. Most tellingly, the report found short and sincere messages (i.e. something from their profile you liked or found interesting) were more likely to result in a good conversation.

Short and sweet messages do the trick, as does sending a question to be answered, but beyond that, what makes an OkCupid intro message worthy of a response? Do you send a punny first message? A thoughtful one? Is it better to be cheeky? Sexy? Is a lame first message actually kind of endearing to a stranger? Damona Hoffman, OkCupid Dating Coach and host of The Dates & Mates Podcast, says that even though she’s not a huge fan on pick-up lines IRL, “on a dating app they actually can be effective and might even make the recipient laugh, which can lead to a reply.” When in doubt, go for a laugh. And if you’re worried how that might land, Hoffman recommends you can “acknowledge the cheesiness of pick-up lines or the fact that you're sending it with a wink and a nod.”

Hoffman adds that according to internal OkCupid data, “30% of users said that asking a question is the best ice-breaker followed by a simple introduction, which is preferred by 27%.” So a cheesy opening line and a question are both icebreakers OkCupid users are clearly into. But if you’re still stumped on what to say, try these suggestions below.

• Titanic. That’s my icebreaker. What’s up?
• If you have a three-day weekend, where are you headed? The beach? The mountains? Bed?
• Let's skip the small talk, want to meet up for a drink?
• You’ve just won a free trip to anywhere in the world! The catch is you have to leave tomorrow. Where are you headed?
• Hi, I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.
• I still use my ex's Hulu log-in, and yes, I will gladly share it with you.
• This ismy life story in four emojis: [insert emojis.] What's yours?
• Two truths and a lie, go.
• Name a theme song that adequately describes your life.
• If you could do anything around the city right now, what would it be? (Let them answer, then say, 'Let's do it.')
• Hey. So, it’s not safe for us to talk here. Siri and Alexa are listening. We should meet up so they don’t record our conversation. What do you think?
• Serious question for you. Best discovery — avocados or Netflix?
• Before we get to know each other, I just need to put it out there that I will need you to kill all the spiders for me.
• Before we get to know each other, I just need to put it out there that I will kill all the spiders for you.
• Are you ready for some smooth math moves? OK, here we go. Are you an angle? Because you're so acute.
• Should we talk for a while or do you want to just cut to the part where I take you out on the best date of your life?
• It's karaoke night at your local bar, what song are you screaming the lyrics to when it's your turn to sing?
• Do you believe in love at first swipe, or should I un-match you and make you swipe again?
• If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber.
• I’d like to take you to the movies, but they don’t let you bring in your own snacks.
• I think there’s something wrong with my phone. Could you try calling it to see if it works?
• If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.
• Want to play “Never Have I Ever?” You go first...
• What’s your sign?
• What are you doing this weekend?
• What’s one quality you think your best friend and romantic partner should both have?
• Tell me about the best first date you’ve ever been on.
• What’s your go-to hangover meal?
• Let’s play a game of This Or That. I’ll start: Dinner, or drinks?
• What’s the most important quality you look for in a partner?

Additional reporting by Kylie McConville

Experts:

Damona Hoffman, OkCupid Dating Coach and Host of The Dates & Mates Podcast

Looking for the best OkCupid profile examples you can use to get more likes?

We’ve put together OkCupid profile “About Me” examples for each of the 6 prompts OkCupid lets you choose from.

Try these ideas out and see which one is the best fit for your OkCupid profile!

OkCupid Profile “About Me” #1: My Self-summary

OkCupid’s first and most popular “About me” prompt is “My self-summary”. This OkCupid profile option is so general that it can feel daunting to come up with an original and interesting way to summarize yourself.

Our favorite go-to is to list three favorite things — foods, hobbies, movies — whatever you’re passionate about.

Limiting your list to three keeps your summary succinct and makes people interested in learning more about you instead of thinking they already have you figured out.

Examples

Jocelyn, 28
My self-summary
Bad horror movies, sour beer, running in Riverside Park

Peter, 30
My self-summary
Matcha addict, Minecraft architect, Michael Bay film critic

Intro Message On Okcupid

OkCupid Profile “About Me” #2: Favorite Thing

Best Intro On Okcupid

Unless you’re traveling, most people seeing your OkCupid profile probably live in the same area as you. So answering the “favorite thing about the place I live” prompt with something very general about your city, like “sunshine, mountains, the people” isn’t all that compelling.

OkCupid profiles that offer a very specific interesting fact or anecdote are much more likely to get a doubletake.

Examples

Renee, 24
Favorite thing about the place I live
I can get CBD tinctures for myself and my dog from at least 3 places on my block.

Stephen, 26
Favorite thing about the place I live
We have arguably the best Indian food in the state, nay, the west.

OkCupid Profile “About Me” #3: People Who Know Me…

Think of your OkCupid profile as your dating resume. Your relationship prospects don’t need to see a list of qualities you think you are (funny, warm, team player). Instead, let your personality speak for itself when you share things your friends would say about you.

We like this most likely/least likely template for answering the “most people that know me would say I’m…” prompt.

Examples

Lee, 23
Most people that know me would say I’m
most likely to find reasons to order takeout, least likely to cook

Casey, 22
Most people that know me would say I’m
Most likely to initiate game night, least likely to go to a football game

OkCupid Profile “About Me” #4: Favorite Childhood Memory

We’ve noticed most people tend to stick to the default “my self-summary” OkCupid profile prompt, so you’re more likely to stand out from the pack just by choosing the lesser-known “favorite memory from my childhood”.

Sharing a funny or wholesome memory strikes the perfect chord of intimate without being creepy, and will make people want to swipe right to learn more.

Examples

Okcupid Free A List

Jessica, 21
Favorite memory from my childhood
Eating Klondike bars for breakfast whenever we were on vacation

Mark, 26
Favorite memory from my childhood
Riding my bike from dawn til dusk every day during the summer without a care in the world.

OkCupid Profile “About Me” #5: Things I am not

Okcupid Messaging

Using emojis for the OkCupid profile prompt “Things I am not” is the perfect chance to reveal your sassy side.

Emojis can be interpreted in many different ways, so describing yourself with them in your OkCupid profile will lead to follow-up questions in your chat.

Examples

Gwen, 23
Things I am not
🎨, 🔮, 🍸, 💩

Richard, 28
Things I am not
👽, 💀, 🏄, ☕

OkCupid Profile “About Me” #6: Haiku

Picking “Me, a Haiku” as your OkCupid profile prompt is bold, bound to impress, and easier than you think!

Just decide what 3 attributes or hobbies you’d most want to include in your profile and play around with them to fit the 5/7/5 syllable format.

Sending Intro On Okcupid

Examples

Kennedy, 29
Me, a Haiku
Yoga instructor.
Animal rights activist.
Macrame dabbler.

Jason, 33
Me, a Haiku
Game of Thrones critic.
Sky diving is my passion.
Caffeine fuels my life.

NOTE: Even the most 🔥🔥🔥 OkCupid profile can’t make up for bad pics…

If your pics are blah, it’s game over.

People only even read a person’s OkCupid profile after already liking their pics.

The best solution out there: test your pics on Photofeeler.

Photofeeler tells you exactly how your OkCupid photos are coming across to women or men.

Go to Photofeeler.com now and give it a try!